Being a mom is amazing, but it also comes with this feeling we all know: mom guilt. It shows up whether you’re at your job dealing with work stuff or at home picking up toys… again! For us moms today, deciding whether to work or stay home isn’t just about what we do; it often touches our hearts deeply.
What Is This “Mom Guilt” Anyway? And Why Does Every Mom Seem to Feel It?
The American Psychological Association (APA) says guilt is a normal feeling when we think we haven’t met our own standards or responsibilities (APA, 2020). For moms, the pressure to be perfect in every way makes this feeling even stronger.
Like one mom said, “No matter what you choose, there’s always a little voice telling you that you should be doing more.” Does that sound familiar? It sure does to me!
When You’re Home All Day: It’s More Than “Just Being a Mom”
For those of us who stay home with our kids, sometimes we feel bad for not bringing in money or worry about what others think when we say we “just” stay home. I actually stayed home for the first two years of my child’s life, and let me tell you, it was a job in itself! But the truth is, studies show that stay-at-home moms often work even more hours than people with full-time jobs (Pew Research Center, 2014). All the caring, the thinking ahead, and the physical work of looking after little ones is so important, even if it doesn’t always feel that way.
When You Head to Work: Showing Them What You Can Do
For working moms, that guilty feeling can pop up when you miss a school event or wish you had more hours with your kids. I totally get it – going back to work at the end of last year brought up a lot of those feelings for me. But there’s another side to this! Research from Harvard Business School found that daughters of working mothers are more likely to have jobs and earn more money, and their sons are more likely to help out at home (McGinn et al., 2015). You’re showing your kids that it’s okay to have goals outside of being a mom and that everyone in the family can contribute.
And remember this: “Sometimes taking a step back from your kids for a bit actually shows them how to be strong, go after their dreams, and find a good balance in life.”
Guess What? You’re Not the Only One Feeling This Way!
Whether you’re at an office or chasing a toddler, every mom has tough days. Choosing what works for you doesn’t mean it’s always easy, but it means it’s the right choice for your family right now.
Simple Tips to Help Ease Mom Guilt:
- Think About What’s Important to You: Decide what works best for your family, not just what everyone else thinks you should do.
- Don’t Compare Yourself to Others: What you see on social media isn’t the whole story. Focus on your own amazing journey.
- Talk About It: Whether it’s with a therapist, in a journal, or with another mom who understands, talking about your feelings can really help.
- Notice the Little Wins: Every small moment of connection with your child matters, not just how much time you spend together.
The Bottom Line: You Are Doing Great
No matter what your path looks like in motherhood – whether you’re home full-time like I was for those first two years, or you’re working like I am now – what truly matters is the love, the time you give, and how present you are with your child. You are enough.
References
1.American Psychological Association. (2020). Guilt. https://www.apa.org
2.Pew Research Center. (2014). After Decades of Decline, A Rise in Stay-at-Home Mothers. https://www.pewresearch.org
3.McGinn, K. L., Lingo, E. L., & Castro, M. R. (2015). Harvard Business School Research on Working Mothers. https://hbs.edu