The Gratitude Skills I’m Teaching My 3-Year-Old Are the Same Ones Fueling Career Conversations

Last week, I watched my son, Ronak, looked up from his truck and offered a spontaneous, heartfelt “thank you, Mama, for taking care of me.” No prompting. No negotiation. Just genuine, unscripted appreciation.

That same week, I wrapped up a conversation with a recruiter who was impressed by my ‘emotional intelligence and collaborative mindset,‘ qualities I highlighted specifically due to my parenting experience. While the role wasn’t the right fit, the conversation validated the high professional value of the skills I’m building at home.

Coincidence? The more I research gratitude or Ronak’s development and my own career growth, the more I realize we’re building the exact same skillset. The only difference is the vocabulary we use.

What Science Says About Gratitude (And Why It Matters for Both of Us)

Research confirms that the foundation for gratitude starts in the preschool years. A child’s understanding of gratitude at age five is predicted by their emotional knowledge at age three [1]. We aren’t just teaching manners; we are building neural pathways for emotional regulation and social awareness.

Meanwhile, in the professional world, studies show that gratitude is positively related to task performance and leads to Organizational Citizenship Behaviors (OCB), such as proactively helping coworkers and welcoming new employees [2], [3]. Employees who practice gratitude demonstrate better communication, improved recall, and increased resilience—the exact “soft skills” every job description demands.

We call it “gratitude” for Ronak. Employers call it “high-value competencies.” But the underlying mechanism is the same.

The Parallel Journey: Preschooler Development Meets Career Growth

When I shifted from viewing gratitude as simple “please and thank you” training to recognizing it as genuine emotional and cognitive development, everything changed.

For Ronak (The Preschool Years)

At age three, children need concrete experiences, not abstract concepts. My practice centers on perspective-taking and emotional identification:

• Naming emotions in real-time: “You feel happy when you go with your Nani to get lemonade and fries. That’s gratitude—when someone does something kind for you.”
• Concrete questions over abstraction: Instead of the generic “what are you thankful for?”, I ask: “Who helped you today?” or “What was your favorite part of playing at the park?” This exercise, backed by research, teaches early emotional awareness and perspective-taking [1].

For Me (The Career Journey)

I apply these same principles to my professional life:

• Recognizing contributions in real-time: I explicitly acknowledge team members ideas and efforts. This practice isn’t just politeness; research shows that expressing appreciation enhances relationships and encourages future collaboration [4].
• Concrete reflection for interviews: I translate my motherhood experience into professional competencies. “Managing content timelines while caring for a toddler taught me to prioritize ruthlessly and communicate proactively” and “Pivoting from mom blogger to content management required rapid skill acquisition (AI tools)—I’m comfortable with ambiguity and agility.” Gratitude acts as a significant psychological resource, enhancing an individual’s capacity to navigate career challenges effectively [5].

The Core Skills We’re Both Building

Ronak (Age 3)	Me (Content Professional)	What Employers Call It
Noticing when someone helps	Acknowledging team contributions	Collaborative Mindset
Naming feelings accurately	Articulating project challenges clearly	Emotional Intelligence
Understanding others’ perspectives	Anticipating stakeholder needs	Strategic Thinking
Adapting when things change	Pivoting between projects/priorities	Agility and Resilience

Why This Matters More Than We Realize

Here is the uncomfortable truth: 80% of employees would put in more effort if they felt better appreciated [6]. Yet, many workplaces are starving for the exact interpersonal and emotional skills we are teaching our children.

Meanwhile, mothers often apologize for “career gaps” when we have been completing an intensive training program in the most in-demand professional competencies: emotional regulation under stress, stakeholder management (toddler negotiations!), project coordination with zero budget, and creative problem-solving in real-time.

Research shows that gratitude is positively related to task performance and is prospectively related to higher levels of intrinsic motivation [7]. You are not “just” teaching your kid manners. You are modeling and practicing the exact emotional and cognitive skills that predict long-term workplace success.

Applying This: The Daily Gratitude Practice

• Morning Optimism: We each name one thing we’re looking forward to. This forward-looking optimism is a key predictor of resilience.
• Bedtime Reflection: I ask Ronak, “What made you proud today?” I also ask myself. We are training our brains to notice accomplishments. I try to journal it before I sleep if I can.
• Documenting Growth: I keep a “wins” document for my career—every positive email, completed project, and new skill. This serves as evidence of progress when doubt creeps in.

The result? Gratitude not only improves mental health, making for happier, more optimistic people, but it also creates workplaces with less stress and improved teamwork [8]. We don’t have to choose between developing our children and developing our careers. We are doing both simultaneously.

I am grateful for Ronak because teaching him gratitude has made me better at recognizing my own value. Motherhood isn’t a career detour. It is advanced professional development in the skills that actually matter.

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References

1. Nelson, L. J., Plummer, A., & O’Brien, S. (2013). Preschool-aged children’s understanding of gratitude: Relations with emotion and mental state knowledge. Journal of Experimental Child Psychology, 114(2), 255–270.
2. Fehr, R., Fulmer, I. S., Awtrey, E., & Miller, J. A. (2017). The grateful workplace: A multilevel model of gratitude in organizations. Academy of Management Review, 42(2), 361–381.
3. Chen, X., & Peng, B. (2022). Influence of distributive justice on organizational citizenship behaviors: The mediating role of gratitude. Frontiers in Psychology, 13, 974405.
4. Emmons, R. A., & McCullough, M. E. (2003). Counting blessings versus burdens: An experimental investigation of gratitude and subjective well-being in daily life. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 84(2), 377–389. (General research on gratitude and positive outcomes).
5. Wood, A. M., Joseph, S., & Maltby, J. (2009). Gratitude predicts psychological well-being above and beyond the Big Five personality factors, self-esteem, and depression. Personality and Individual Differences, 45(7), 655–660. (Used to support the psychological resource claim, often cited for gratitude and resilience).
6. Awardco. (2025). 19 Employee Recognition Statistics. (Data stating that 80% of team members would put in more effort if they felt better appreciated).
7. Grant, A. M., & Gino, F. (2010). A little thanks goes a long way: Explaining why gratitude expressions motivate prosocial behavior. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 98(6), 946–955. (Used to support the link between gratitude and intrinsic motivation/prosocial behavior).
8. Bartlett, M. Y., & DeSteno, D. (2006). Gratitude and prosocial behavior: Helping when it costs you. Psychological Science, 17(4), 319–325. (Used to support the general benefits of gratitude including improved mental state and prosocial behavior leading to better teamwork).

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