The Silent Struggle: Unveiling Postpartum Depression

Motherhood. A word often portrayed with images of sunshine, laughter, and overflowing love. But for many of us, the reality is different. Imagine a shadow lurking just beneath that picture-perfect ideal, a shadow called postpartum depression (PPD). It’s surprisingly common, yet rarely talked about especially within brown communities like ours.

We Need to Talk About This:

While the “baby blues” are common after childbirth, PPD is a much deeper and more persistent issue. Here’s the thing: you’re not alone. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) tells us that 1 in 8 women experience PPD symptoms after childbirth [1]. That’s 13% of new moms! This isn’t something to be ashamed of, but it is something we need to bring out into the open.

So, why is something affecting such a significant portion of the population rarely talked about? 

• The Pressure: Society often portrays moms as these glowing, happy figures. Admitting to anything less can feel like admitting weakness and can be seen as weakness or inadequacy.
• Lack of Awareness: Many women (and even healthcare providers) may not recognize classic PPD symptoms, leading to misdiagnosis or no diagnosis at all. This can be even more true in communities where mental health resources are scarce. [3]
• Fear of Judgment: Worries about being judged as a bad mother or losing custody can prevent women from seeking help.
• Prioritizing Baby’s Needs: During the demanding newborn phase, taking time for yourself can feel like a luxury. This internalized guilt can make it difficult for some women to prioritize their mental health and seek support for PPD
• Cultural Expectations: Our cultures often emphasize strength and stoicism [2]. Admitting to emotional struggles can feel like a burden on the family.

These options avoid directly blaming mothers and instead focus on the societal and cultural pressures that contribute to mom guilt and silence around PPD.

PPD isn’t just feeling sad or overwhelmed. It’s a complex mix of hormones and brain chemistry that can show up in many ways. Here are some things to watch for according to the American Psychological Association (APA) [4]:

• Feeling sad, anxious, or empty most of the time
• Losing interest in things you used to love
• Having trouble connecting with your baby
• Changes in how you eat or sleep (including difficulty sleeping or sleeping too much)
• Difficulty focusing
• Severe mood swings
• Excessive crying
• Irritability
• Anger
• Withdrawal from family and friends
• Thoughts of harming yourself or your baby (If you’re experiencing this, please reach out for help immediately). 

Breaking the Silence: My Journey with PPD:

Like so many moms, I was one of the 1 in 8 women who experienced PPD. It was a confusing time, and with everything going on – hormones were swirling, and grief from losing my dad just a week after giving birth added another layer (but that’s a story for another day!).

I chose to write about PPD as my second blog post because, despite all my research and close mom friends, I don’t recall anyone mentioning the possibility during pregnancy. It’s a topic shrouded in silence, even though many moms experience emotional struggles to varying degrees. Interestingly, when I opened up about my own PPD journey, it sparked similar stories from others. This highlights the need for open conversations.

Motherhood is undeniably fulfilling, but it’s also intensely challenging. You undergo a complete transformation – physically, emotionally, professionally, and even socially. It’s like being reborn into a new version of yourself. Whether or not you experience PPD, the traditional support system – the celebratory showers and congratulations – often fades away in those early days.

During that time, despite loving my son fiercely, there were days I longed for his naps just so I could cry. But even then, guilt gnawed at me. I had a baby to care for, and I didn’t want my emotions to affect him. It’s hard to say if my experience would have been different without the additional burden of grief after childbirth. I felt strong baby blues even in the hospital, before my father’s passing. But like many moms, I couldn’t simply pause motherhood. Despite having a supportive partner and family, the emotional toll remained significant.

From Downplaying to Prioritizing: My Journey to Self-Care:

Even though I knew something wasn’t quite right, motherhood’s instinct kicked in, and prioritizing my baby’s needs became automatic. Thankfully, my amazing pediatrician and gynecologist saw through it. Their routine emotional check-ins, even though I downplayed my feelings, were a crucial red flag for them. They gently encouraged me to prioritize my own well-being alongside my baby’s. I’ll be forever grateful for their extra push.

Let’s be honest, those early days are a whirlwind! Sleep deprivation is real, and hormones are a force to be reckoned with. The good news is, sometimes you just need a nudge in the right direction. For me, that nudge involved a little ‘fake it till you make it’ with daily meditation and positive journaling. Even though it felt forced at first, these practices helped me create space for self-care and gradually, I started to feel a shift in my mood and outlook

Now, my little one is about to turn 2, and I can honestly say I’m in a much better place physically, emotionally, and mentally. Therapy was a game-changer. It gave me a safe space to be heard, to let go of the pressure to be “supermom,” and just be me.

Remember, mama, every mom’s journey is unique. You’re not alone in this. If you’re struggling, even a little, please reach out for help. It’s okay not to be okay, and there is hope. You can get through this, and you deserve to feel happy and healthy again.

Focusing on Actionable Steps:

During those rough days with PPD, I discovered some practices that helped me feel better. Here are a few things you can try too, mama:

• Finding Calm Before Sleep: Just 10 minutes of meditation before bed can make a world of difference. I used the Calm app (it came free with my Kaiser insurance (check with yours!) and my therapist recommended it. This app helped me manage insomnia and find peace before sleep.
• Gratitude Journaling: Starting my day and ending it with 5 minutes of positive journaling changed things for me. It helped me focus on the good things and cultivate gratitude, even on tough days. (And guess what? I still do it!). I have shared the link to the journal I used at the end of this article.
• Prioritizing Self-Care (Even in Small Doses): As my baby grew (around 7 months old), I finally started taking “mommy days.” These were dedicated to self-care, whether it was a relaxing brunch, getting my nails done, indulging in a favorite hobby (board games in my case!), or simply catching up on a favorite show. We all know new moms are busy, but even 30 minutes of self-care can be a game-changer.
• Sunshine and Vitamin D: Daily walks outside became a priority for me. Getting that Vitamin D dose from the sun really helped boost my mood on many occasions.
• Rediscovering the Joy of Reading: I started reading for pleasure again! It was a forgotten joy that brought me back to myself. (Big time Sarah J. Maas fan here, by the way!) If you’re looking for recommendations, feel free to reach out and always appreciate recommendations as well.
• The Power of Mom Podcasts: During those rough days with PPD, something unexpected became a source of strength: mom podcasts. Here’s the thing, mama: even with loved ones around, sometimes you just can’t share everything. You might not want to burden them, or maybe it feels like a constant struggle to vent. Mom podcasts filled that gap for me. Hearing other women talk openly about their experiences made me feel empowered and less alone. These podcasts reminded me that we’re not in this alone. They offered support, humor, and a sense of community. I’ll share some of my favorite podcasts at the end of this article, the ones that helped me immensely and continue to be a source of inspiration.
• Sleep and Self-Care Go Hand-in-Hand: Honestly, sleep and eventually stopping nursing were major factors in improving my mental health. I nursed until my toddler was 19 months old. When he slept better, I felt significantly better. Those early days are brutal, but hang in there, mama! Sleep whenever you can. As a SAHM, I started sleeping in with my husband’s help. He took most morning shifts, allowing me extra sleep. Remember, it’s all about teamwork! Lean on your village “your partner, family, friends” don’t hesitate to ask for help, a break, or some sleep. There’s no shame in that!

There’s Hope!

The good news is that PPD is treatable. Understanding the science behind it can empower women to seek help and healthcare providers to offer better support. 

Here’s the science behind it:

• Hormonal Rollercoaster: Pregnancy and childbirth cause dramatic hormonal shifts. This, combined with sleep deprivation and stress, can contribute to PPD symptoms.
• Brain Chemistry Shifts: Research suggests changes in brain chemistry, specifically in areas related to mood regulation, might also play a role.

Breaking the Silence, One Story at a Time:

By openly discussing PPD, we can create a safe space for moms to share their experiences. We can empower you to seek help and healthcare providers to offer better support and resources. This blog is here for that very reason. We’ll talk openly about PPD, the science behind it, and share stories of strength and resilience.

Here’s the most important thing to remember: you are not alone. 

Let’s break the silence, raise awareness, and ensure no mother has to fight PPD alone.

References

1. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. (2021, January 11). Postpartum Depression. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. https://www.cdc.gov/reproductive-health/depression/cdc-activities.html
2. Matsumoto, D. (1999). American cultural display rules and the expression of emotion. Emotional Expression in Interpersonal Communication, 129-158.
3. Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration. (2014). Key Substance Use and Mental Health Findings in the National Hispanic Health Survey (NHHS). Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration. https://www.samhsa.gov/
4. American Psychological Association. (2020, September 01). Postpartum Depression. American Psychological Association. https://www.apa.org/pi/women/resources/reports/postpartum-depression-brochure-2007.pdf

During my journey, I found that incorporating gratitude practices into my daily routine was incredibly helpful. If you’re interested in exploring this approach, there are many resources available online and in bookstores.

One resource that helped me was a gratitude journal created by the ‘Power of Positivity’ page on Instagram. There are many great options available, so find what works best for you. (Here is the Amazon affiliate link for those interested.)

For those seeking inspiration and support on their motherhood journey, here are a few of my favorite podcasts (all available on Spotify):

• Free the Mother by Kendra Williams: This podcast tackles the challenges of motherhood with a raw and honest approach.
• The Wellness Mama Podcast by Katie Wells: If you’re interested in natural wellness strategies for moms and their families, check out this podcast.
• Motivation for Moms by Sara Murender: Need a motivational boost? This podcast offers practical tips and encouragement for busy moms.
• The Empowered Mama with Lisa Druxman: Lisa Druxman empowers moms to embrace their authentic selves and create fulfilling lives.
• Feel Good Effect by Robyn Conley Downs: This podcast focuses on fostering a positive mindset and self-care practices for moms.

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